Michael Bay diarrhea
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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