if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
