if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
