Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
