This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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