I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
