I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
