I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
