He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
