I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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