even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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