Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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