We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
