he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
