Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
