I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm sobbing to NWA
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
