Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
