Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize