last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
