i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
