He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
