Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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