So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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