I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
