He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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