Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
