I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize