she was so not down for the gang bang
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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