Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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