I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
