Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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