he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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