Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
