I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
