half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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