I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I love you. Go after that dick
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
