The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
