Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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