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• (630): View more from Illinois

  oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.

  (310): View more from California

  ***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  .....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk

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• (619): View more from California

  I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.

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• (627): View more from California

  Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Where you been?

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  Please tell me this is a booty call

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• (807): View more from Ontario

  We're not ready for visitors right now.

  (1-807): View more from Ontario

  wtf? who's we?

  (807): View more from Ontario

  The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.

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