Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
