discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
