Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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