If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
