So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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