i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
