oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
