he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
