Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
