Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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