The brown eye won't let me do that either.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
