That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize