Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
