Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
