He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
