Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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