All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
