Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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