Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I believe in your delicious
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize