the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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