I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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