I'm gonna have a badass scar
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
