sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
