I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
