She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
